Battling with loneliness? Learn the best strategies for how to deal with loneliness and, ultimately, lead a healthier and more fulfilled life.
It's interesting to consider that the term “loneliness,” used throughout the ages, only developed an unfavorable connotation as recently as the 1800s. We could describe the term as a form of social pain, stemming from a perceived lack of social connection and intimacy.
The rising challenge of loneliness — distinct from solitude, which is a whole other mood where you feel comfy and fulfilled in your own presence — is hitting Gen Z the hardest. A massive 73% of adults aged between 18-32 report feeling sometimes or always alone. And here's where it gets interesting: According to the same report, you'll find a greater sense of loneliness among frequent social media users. Ironically, social media is designed to keep us connected. So what's the catch?
Social interaction should be more accessible than ever. And the question may not so much lie in which tools we use to connect, as how we're using them. Spending increased time on tech channels like social media scrolling, single-player gaming or simply surfing the web may have influenced our feelings of social isolation. However, tech might also hold the keys to reconnect and build more meaningful relationships.
The causes and impacts of loneliness vary. These sentiments may result from a significant loss, modern evolutions in culture, genetics or a lack of meaningful relationships, among others. Let's take a look at loneliness' more common roots among young people today:
If there's one thing that's impossible to escape when you're young, it's massive change: graduating high school, pursuing college studies, entering the workforce, starting a family, moving away from home, exploring new relationships — the list goes on. These events create fundamental shifts in elements as vast as our lifestyles and perceptions, right down to relationships with our squad and even inside our bubbles.
It's no surprise, then, that loneliness might manifest, bleak and unannounced, on some rainy Tuesday. While these transitions may be brimming with big energy, hope and powerful opportunities for growth, it doesn't mean the good feels arrive unaccompanied.
If your connection to yourself is low-key, er, compromised, connecting with others can become another ballgame. This stands even when it's not your intention or desire. And it's not your fault. In this case, your feelings are inviting you to get back in touch with number one and explore what you need from you.
Naturally, if you've lost regular contact with your day-ones, loneliness might emerge from the woodwork. As inherently social creatures, humans require at least some degree of social interaction to thrive. We only need to look as far back as the community-driven roots of human history to understand this. Even for the highly independent introverts among us, loneliness can strike when the balance sways too far in one direction.
Modern use of social media is a tricky beast. While it was originally designed as a way to stay in the loop with friends and fam, it's evolved into a core commodity in the attention economy. It's common these days to flick through our fave channels, glazing over posts of others living their best lives or curbing interaction at a “like.”
Enter the comparison trap: a cycle where we compare ourselves to others, leading to low mood, reduced self-confidence and — you guessed it — loneliness. There's a fundamental difference between being on social media and actually connecting online. That difference lies in the feels we put into and draw from it.
The effects of loneliness can be as diverse and slippery as the causes. They may include:
Depression: Feeling persistently low and disconnected from everything around you.
Anxiety: A constant sense of worry or unease that’s hard to shake.
Lowered self-esteem and motivation: Struggling to feel good about yourself or find the energy to do much.
Lack of sleep: Difficulty falling or staying asleep, leaving you exhausted.
Stress: Feeling overwhelmed and under pressure most of the time.
Hard to focus: Trouble concentrating or remembering things like you used to.
If you're concerned about physical or mental health issues resulting from loneliness, take it seriously and seek help from trusted friends, family or a mental health professional. And, keep in mind there are practical strategies you can use alongside family or professional support to help navigate these feelings and bolster your well-being along the way.
Finding creative ways to plug in and stay connected can help you shimmy back into the zone. Here are some ways to get you started.
Jump on the phone: Calling friends and family, near or far, is easier than ever with modern communication tech. Whether it's your regular crew or someone you haven't spoken with in a while, chatting with loved ones can alleviate feelings of loneliness.
Set up a video call: Video calls have a visual layer, helping us feel more connected than voice alone. Set up a one-to-one or a group call and get the big energy flowing.
Write a letter: Sometimes, laying thoughts out on paper helps organize them in our minds. Letters are a beautiful, rare and personal way to communicate these days — plus, receiving one back can brighten your day and increase social connection.
Yapping with others certainly doesn't have to be limited to close friends. If you’re worried about disappointing long-standing friendships by talking about your feelings, plenty of one-to-one video chat platforms provide a space for you to connect instantly with new people worldwide in just a few taps. This opens the doors to friendly conversations and meaningful connections — without offloading on your friends.
Alternatively, in daily life, reach out to a new classmate, work colleague or a friendly face at social events. Practicing talking to anyone boosts confidence and bolsters your social support network.
If you're spending time on social media regularly, consider leveraging it by communicating with greater intention. It's all about using your voice, active listening and making friends online via personalized conversations with real people.
Video chat apps like Higo let you dive into casual, lighthearted convos with new friends. Exploring perspectives, cultures and mutual peer support is a wholesome way to make the most out of online comms and enhance positive connections.
If you're looking for someone to keep you company around the house, why not adopt a furry best friend? Especially if you're taking a floof-ball under the wing from your local animal shelter, you could actually improve both parties' situation. Spending time with pets can bring comfort and improve mood, helping to reduce stress and loneliness — so long as you have the space to responsibly support a pet in your life.
But there's more: You and your new pet can join a community-based pet-owners group. Local parks, social media groups and apps often feature opportunities for pet parents to connect and socialize while their pets play.
Having at least one regular social, physical or creative commitment does wonders for loneliness. Not only does it support you in depursuing your passions and developing skillsets (hello, confidence injection) but it also means you can regularly engage with familiar faces.
And long-term commitment's not an issue either — you could join a three-week class, a casual or seasonal sports team or a forever group of fellow rock-painting enthusiasts. It's totally up to you! Typically, even if you undertake these pursuits alone, it won't be long before you have a few new connections to share laughs with on a regular basis.
Become an explorer — and do it in style. Take yourself out to dinners, movies, art galleries and concerts, focusing on senses like touch, smell, sight and sound. Diving into the local arts scene helps inspire creativity and shift our mindsets while getting among green and blue spaces positively impacts our emotional, psychological and physical well-being.
Imagine you're visiting your town for the first time, check online and see what's going on this weekend: local markets, geocaching, community events — it all counts. Exploring your area solo also increases your likelihood of bumping into someone and starting a conversation, boosting courage and independence.
Circling back to before we started using the term “lonely,” people may have been thought alone, but never lonely. There were fewer distractions from the real world in those days, granted. Perhaps people had better access to nature and more humanized connections than we do in the tech-driven era. And from this, we can take lessons in self-care.
While the world has spun in all sorts of new axes over the past few centuries, our need for rest, nature and unplugging hasn't evolved as drastically. Invest time in things that help you feel special or relaxed, like listening to your favorite music, taking a bath or going for a trail run. Restful, rejuvenating activities are core to self-esteem and wellness — whatever that looks like for you.
Here's the thing: It's natural to experience loneliness sometimes, even though it can feel difficult. Always remember to be gentle and kind to yourself. Feeling lonely is one thing, but feeling bad about feeling lonely creates another dimension of emotional strain that only adds to the equation.
Ask yourself: If a loved one could step in right now and help alleviate lonely feelings, what might they be doing? How can you offer yourself that same level of support? For instance, if you want to offload, journaling your thoughts and feelings may do the trick. If it's a conversation you're craving, consider where you access someone to talk to. The key lies in staying present with you, offering yourself the love and attention you need.
Loneliness is a normal element of the human experience — but if you feel overwhelmed, it may be time to take action. These strategies can support you in taking charge of your growth and building a network that matters.
From exploring new spaces and skills to leveraging internet usage for positive activities like personalized, one-to-one conversations with real people online, we have diverse pathways available to overcome the causes and effects of loneliness. Higo is the ideal space to connect with others in a lighthearted, relaxed environment and transform casual conversations into meaningful and fulfilling connections.
Disclaimer: This article is not a substitute for professional medical advice. The above list of causes and symptoms is not exhaustive, nor should any of the mentioned strategies to deal with loneliness be considered medical advice to treat potential or existing mental health conditions. If you're experiencing concerns about your mental health, speak with a trusted friend, family member, doctor or licensed counselor.
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